Just another Valentine's prostate

On Valentine' weekend, my husband challenged me to write a poem to accompany this MR image of a prostate with an heart shaped enlarged median lobe. Who says romance is dead?! 

Just another Valentine’s prostate

 

Well hello MR Prostate,

With your swollen median lobe,

Hormonal heart now on display

(Unseen by ultrasound probe).

 

Your love is overflowing;

A testosterone cascade.

The only way to stop it 

Would be androgen blockade.

 

Meanwhile just lie there prostrate

Above the pelvic floor;

To me, there’s no vas deferens,

I’ve seen it all before. 

 

 

Dr Rachel McCoubrie 13.2.21

COVID #6: The morning after winter solstice

I wrote this at the end of December 2020. It had been an incredibly difficult year for everyone. The pandemic had taken its toll in so many different ways for different people, and certainly working in the NHS had felt so much more stressful than usual. As Winter Solstice came and went, I read a comment on Facebook about the shortest day and that from now on, each day will be a little longer and lighter as we move towards spring. This, and the news of a vaccine for COVID being rolled out, felt like the start of something more hopeful, more positive to look forward to. 

The morning after winter solstice

 

The shortest day is done.

Dawn breaks with a promise;

each day a fraction longer,

a sunbeam brighter,

a feather lighter.

From deep earthy darkness, 

seeds of hope take root, 

tentative shoots push

towards the surface

where light and air abound.

With a deep breath,

determined, they stand tall;

fat buds burst triumphant,

rainbows of resplendent flowers

jubilantly declare better days are on the way.

Brighter, lighter, promising hope. 

 

 

Rachel McCoubrie 22.12.20

Not all bullies shout and punch

Anti bullying week is 16-20th November 2020. This year, many are tired and stressed from living and working through this pandemic. In the workplace and at home, this is resulting in some behaviours which are less than ideal, with tempers being short and tolerance levels lower than usual. It is worth remembering that there are more discrete behaviours such as undermining and constant criticism that take their toll and need nipping in the bud too. 

Not all bullies shout and punch

Smiling eyes,

Belied only by an almost imperceptible 

Flinch at the corner.

 

Twittering jollity;

A false levity studded with veiled barbs 

That effortlessly wound.

 

Sycophantic niceties;

Their thick sugar coat fails to disguise

The venom concealed.

 

I shrink. 

Deflated, disappointed, disheartened, dejected. 

I retreat to heal;

Until we meet again. 

 

October 2020

COVID #5: Learning from COVID

COVID poem #5: Learning from COVID

Life is to be savoured.

We took so much for granted

Without appreciating how very fortunate we were

Without COVID. 

 

Things like hugs,

Unmasked faces,

Sharing air and touching,

Without fear of catching or sharing infection.

 

Dinner dates,

Drinks after work,

Family gatherings and celebrations,

Without having to consider where or how many people.

 

Visiting grandparents,

Holding their wrinkled hands,

Sitting close so they can lip-read and hear,

Without masks, alcohol gel, plastic screens or visiting bans.

 

Planning holidays abroad,

Tropical beaches, revitalising sunshine, 

Spectacular scenery, edifying cultural experiences,

Without fear of cancellation, quarantine, or implications for work and school.

 

Sitting in cinemas

Sharing bags of popcorn,

Concerts, arenas, standing in big crowds,

Without any thought of virus spread and global pandemics. 

 

One day,

One very fine day,

We'll do all these things again,

Savouring every moment, every touch, and every breath

Without COVID.

 

 

Rachel McCoubrie

24.10.20

COVID #4: 20/20 or 2020 Vision?

 It's World Poetry Day today and the theme is vision. Here's something I put together as I crunched on my granola this morning. 

20/20 or 2020 Vision

With my 20/20 vision, 

I may have ‘normal’ sight,

But my 2020 vision

Is what keeps me up at night.

 

With my 2020 vision,

Masked faces our disguise, 

Always second guessing

What might lie beneath the eyes.

 

With my 2020 vision,

Social distancing upheld,

Friends and family hurting,

Hugs and handshakes are withheld.

 

But my 20/20 vision

Can help me through each day,

Accepting this is tricky,

It won’t always be this way.

 

These 2020 measures

Are designed to keep us safe,

Flattening the curve

Of this second COVID wave.

 

Protecting one another,

We can meanwhile fantasize,

About the day we’ll hug and see

Those smiles beneath our eyes. 

Rachel McCoubrie

1.10.2020

COVID #3: Alphabet News

I was pondering how the news had brought us so many 'bad news' stories at the start of 2020 -  Brexit, then Coronavirus, then the daily climbing Death toll. I was struck by the B-C-D sequence of these, and started wondering what better news the alphabet could bring us as we head through the rest of the year. I hope some of this more cheerful Alphabet News comes our way!

PS This was a bit of a labour of love - not only finding items beginning with the right letters, but also then making them rhyme! 🤓

Alphabet News

The A news came first, with Austerity raging,

Air strikes, Acquittals, Alzheimers, Ageing,

Australia and Amazon ravaged by fire,

Air pollution climbed higher and higher. 

B brought us Brexit, dividing opinion 

And Boris behaving like Trump's little minion.

Leavers and remainers hurled verbal abuse

As Brexit reporting took over the news.

We thought B was bad, but then followed C,

This Coronavirus called COVID-19.

Highly infectious, sweeping the nation,

We were underprepared for this viral vexation.

The Death toll came next as we moved onto D

In hospitals, care homes, communities. 

Numbers, statistics displayed on our screens

And families left grieving behind the scenes. 

Let's hope as we move through the rest of the year, 

The Alphabet News will bring us more cheer:

Education for all, endorsing Ecology,

Renewable Energy, stable Economy,

Freedom, Fair-trade, Fresh Food and Fun,

Gratitude, Greenpeace, Giving up Guns,

Housing the homeless, Hope, Healthy Hearts,

Inventions, Income, Investing in arts,

Justice and Jobs, Kindness all round,

Liberty, Learning, Love that abounds,

Mindfulness, Music, new Medicines discovered, 

NHS funding, Natural beauty uncovered,

Opportunity, Openness, Organ donation,

Plastics reduced and Pride in our nation,

Pollution solutions and Quality measures,

Racial equality, Sporting and leisure,

Scientific discovery, Trade deals, Tolerance, 

Unity, Vaccines, good Work-life balance, 

Women's rights, Wellness, Wildlife protection,

World peace through leaders finding connection,

With Xenophobia a thing of the past,

Young people building a future to last

With Zero tolerance to all types of abuse

And a Zest for more cheerful Alphabet News.

Rachel McCoubrie July 2020

Crime vs pain

Pain control is a large part of the job working in palliative care. Many words are used to describe pain, and I was struck by the crossover with words that also describe crimes. Perpetrators of crime are often dealt with by our legal system, but there is no similar justice system when it comes to cancer. 

Crime vs. Pain

Shooting, stabbing, even burning,

All are worthy of the news 

All are acts of mindless violence,

Unacceptable abuse.

Shooting, stabbing, even burning,

Words used to describe the pain

Words of daily life for many

Unacceptable again.

What’s horrific to the nation

Stirring up emotion, feeling

Can be normal for the patient - 

Daily grind takes on new meaning.

Though the villains are convicted,

Justice prevailing in the end,

Cancer is again acquitted

Moving on to re-offend.

Unacceptable. 

The end.

Rachel McCoubrie 

Ask me

This is another poem written when I was working in Palliative Care to stress the importance of being honest with patients about where they are in their illness so they can plan ahead. 

Ask me

You ask me what I’d like? Well, I’d like to be well.

But that's not what you meant, as far as I can tell.

And if I can’t be well, then I’d like to be ‘not bad’.

That covers quite a lot - with lots of joy to be had. 

Or if I’m not ‘not bad’, I’m maybe ‘getting worse’;

Although that’s not brilliant, it’s not a hopeless curse.

Though if I’m getting worse, then I really need to know - 

I’ve so much to sort out before it’s time to go.

So if you respect me, please help me understand,

Then ask me what I’d like and help me get things planned.

Rachel McCoubrie 29.3.19

COVID #2: The COVID toll in May

Working in the NHS, as we realise this virus is not going away any time soon, the road ahead feels daunting and long, hence the marathon analogy. There are also many NHS staff feeling the strain and not sharing with others how they are feeling, because we feel we ought to be able to cope and we should just be getting on with it. I wanted to highlight that it is taking it's toll in different ways, and it's okay for us to admit that. 

The COVID toll in May

As days turn to weeks and now months, 

With COVID infections worldwide,

Adrenaline fades to fatigue, 

We begin to slow down our stride.

We knew we were facing a marathon,

Perhaps without taking stock

Of the challenge of taking on 26 miles,

Having hitherto jogged round the block. 

Yet somehow we’re running this race, 

But are we at two miles or ten? 

We are tired and need to pace ourselves, 

But don’t have a clue until when. 

The ‘post-pandemic’ finishing line, 

Seems a distant, elusive ideal.

Our wealth of experience is not quite enough for

The physical and mental ordeal. 

Some of us struggling, juggling life,

Surviving but not quite okay,

“I’m fine thanks,” we say and continue our day

With a stiff upper lip on display.

But a common humanity binds us all, 

It’s a beautiful bond we possess;

We’re human, not robots, and we all feel the strain

As we live with this moral distress. 

It shows itself in various ways 

We are tired, emotional, scared; 

Frustrated at things we cannot control

Feeling anxious or underprepared. 

It’s okay to experience these feelings,

Tell your team - it may help them too. 

This marathon may be a very long way,

But together, we’re strong; we’ll get through.

Rachel McCoubrie 

May 2020 

COVID #1: Going viral

Written near the start of the Covid-19 pandemic in the UK in 2020. So much sadness was on the news and yet some things were happening that definitely felt like a breath of fresh air. 

Going viral

A breath of calm on waking, 

No sooner taken than replaced

By a gut wrenching dawning 

On remembering reality.

Unwilling extras in this pandemic movie

Of unknown duration, with unscripted end.

A morbid urge to catch up on the plot –

Statistics, curfews, deaths.

Isolation, empty shelves, fear.

Yet quietly and gently a subplot emerges,
A resilient, defiant shoot pushing through the dark.

Our planet slowly but surely begins to heal -
Birdsong in China, clear waters in Venice, plummeting pollution,

Earth pauses to take a breath.

Our community reaches out with open hearts,
Taking notice of the elderly, helping strangers,

Sharing a limitless capacity for kindness.

Our families unite, exchanging frequent messages of hope and love,

Finding virtual togetherness across the generations,

Being creative, thinking outside the box.

The silver lining appearing around this viral cloud shines brightly.
There is no talk of racism, hate crimes, immigrants,
No criticism of NHS waiting lists, inefficiencies or inadequacies.
Instead, 'NHS heroes', government funding and a new togetherness emerge.

For truly, we are all in this together.

There is only one enemy here.

By Dr Rachel McCoubrie 21.3.20

Mental hell or mental well?

Written for World Mental Health Day 2019

Mental hell or Mental well

For those caught up in mental hell,

Please find a person you can tell. 

Talk to them, be real, be true;

Be open, let them signpost you

Away from living mental hell;

Back to feeling whole and well.

Rachel McCoubrie

Kindness poem 💞

Be Kind 💕

There’s a voice in your head and sometimes it’s not kind.

It says things like, “You’re useless” and wreaks havoc with your mind. 

“You’re stupid! You can’t do it. You’re never going to win.”

It twists your thoughts, it poisons them, and puts you in a spin. 

Please pay no attention to those criticising words

Dismiss them all immediately - pretend you never heard. 

Start now to replace them with the world’s best, kindest Coach

With a praising, loving, patient and encouraging approach. 

Now listen very carefully to the new Coach in your head

Love yourself, have confidence, believe these words instead:

Things like: “Good for you! You did it! Well done! You did your best!

Stop striving to be perfect, good enough will pass the test. 

There’s no such things as failure - only feedback for next time

Take the learning, try again until you reach your prime.”

Let kindness start inside you, let it grow and grow and grow

Then once you’re full, you’ll share it round and let it freely flow. 

Rachel McCoubrie May 2019

The way I see it

Doctors often worry about upsetting patients by talking to them about the fact that they are dying; in fact, patients have often realised and are worrying and welcome the opportunity to talk about it. Or sometimes patients put on a brave face for their family, while keeping their thoughts to themselves. 

The way I see it

(to be read both ways)

Everything’s going to be okay 
So don’t try to tell me that
I’m dying
Because right now
My life is full of hope
You cannot convince me 
That time is getting short
I can see clearly
My future is all planned out

Dr Rachel McCoubrie 8.3.19

Elephant in the room

All too often at work I see patients who want to talk about what to expect as they near the end of their life, but people around them try to keep conversation light for fear of upsetting them. 

Elephant in the room

I need to have a chat about 
The elephant in my room. 
People say, “Stay positive, 
Ignore the doom and gloom!”

I clearly see things as they are 
And yet I feel at peace.
I’m not afraid of what’s to come; 
It may be a release.

Now things are changing day to day... 
I hope that someday soon,
Someone else will also see
That elephant in my room.

Then we can have that chat.

Dr Rachel McCoubrie

Anxiety 😱 for Mental Health Awareness Week 2019

In keeping with Mental Health Awareness Week, here's a poem I wrote many years ago when I was in a less happy place...😱

Anxiety state 

Cruel uncertainty, why do you torture me?

Where is the steadfast, where is the sure?

Where is the calm reassuring security?

Where's inner peace, my sanity sanctuary?

All have escaped me

I’m losing my mind.

I am riding a not-so-merry

merry-go-round

and round. 

Racing thoughts career wildly,

Wide-eyed, driven; like blood-thirsty greyhounds round the track;

Meaningless laps, exhausting, exasperating, excruciating.

No sooner executed, than resurrected to groundhog torment once more.